Jokes
Funny Stuff
Late one night, a man walks into a dentist's office and says, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
The Dentist stops what he's doing, looks at the man and says, "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."
The man replies, "Yes, I know."
The dentist does a doubletake and asks, "So why did you come in here?"
The man replies, "Well....the light was on."
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There are 10 types of people in this world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whisky. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers, and brown paper shoes."
"How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," said the bartender.
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A Halloween Tale .....
It was Halloween not too long ago
A man is walking home alone late in the fog...
behind him he hears:
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)
The coffin stops .
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I hope I've brought you a smile, feel free to give me a call about that new Nissan purchase!!
James Whitehouse (817)588-5571
Arlington, Texas
